"Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile." What can I say, Franklin P. Jones stole my words.

Disclaimer: The characters, thoughts and feelings expressed in this piece are definitely not fictional and any resemblane to any living person(s) is purely intentional. If the reader has never been madly in love with anyone before, it is strongly advised that he/she does not read anything further.

Was it love at first sight? Naah—certainly not that. But perhaps within the first month of meeting him, I knew; I was in love-perhaps my first true love.

I think he was a bit surprised when I first said “Hi” to him. It was the jaunty kind of “Hi”, definitely not one that you would expect when meeting someone for the first time. Given the fact that I have starting trouble, especially when it comes to breaking the ice, I was surprised at myself for the way the first words came out—so unhibited, like I had known him forever. And the first time I saw him—the face that stays with me every night before I drift into sleep, the face that I see the first thing in the morning, the face that is with me in all my living moments, a face that I want to have before my eyes for the rest of my life…

….That shy smile, those big, bright eyes, the almost-formed dimples, the broad brow and the a-little-too prominent nose. I have became a slave to this image -one that binds me and enslaves me by re-appearing not just in my dreams but also in my waking hours. My eyes seem to be seeking and finding him everywhere—beside me in the cab when I am returning home, when I see the colour red(his favourite), when I am eating a pastry(his favourite too)-there he is giving me the smile of his which makes me wish that time stops andl all the mundane activity of life freezes in time…so that he can take me out of the cab by my hand, splash a bit of the colour red on me and whisk away the cherry topping on the pastry…..

In the beginning, I wrote it off as a crush but it grew and as much as I tried to ignore it, the deeper and the more special it grew. Every gesture of his is so very endearing. His disorderliness, his goofiness, his child-like appreciation for things which excite him, his pretence of superiority whenever he is proved wrong in any matter, his wise-cracks….We are poles apart in may things—he cries seeing emotional stuff in the theatres. He runs away from classics in Eng. Literature, as much as I love them. He is a fan of the s(h)elf-improvement books and I couldn’t detest them any more than I do now. He does zany things and would make every effort to amlify the efforts he puts into them, just to annoy me—he will blow loudly through the straw into the juice-filled container so that it makes a ripping oaring sound. He will try to floss with any sharp object that he can lay his hands on. But these things just don’t seem to irritate me as much as they would if anyone else was doing them.

All this M&B prattle would make one wonder if this love thing was happening both ways. The answer is –I don’t know! I’ve been a coward everytime it came to making aware of his aware for me. It is not the fear of rejection. Rather, it is the uncertainty of how things might work out if at all we discover our feelings for each other. Where does it go from there? Am I ready for a relationship? Is he ready for someone like me in his life? I come with a lot of baggage and my life is certainly not what you would call ordinary. Would he be able to make the changes in his life that any person who wants to have any kind of intimate relationship with me would have to make? Thousands of answered questions like these logging my brain which make me want to chicken out from telling him how I feel about him every time I decide to come out in the open.

Perhaps, slowly, I ‘ve begun to realise that true love doesn’t require acceptance or acknowledgement of any kind- not from society or even own’s own ever-rationalising-mind. It never demands receiving anything at all. It’s not necssary for the peron whom you fall n love with, loves you back…

The magic of love is that it creates a heaven for you on earth, a feeling that makes you fall in love with the air around you and the wind blowing in your hair. Suddenly, everything from the tiniest of the flowers to the early morning sunray that beams in through your bedroom window, and all the zillions of particles in it, seem to be dancing away to the tune of your love. Suddenly, all those lyrics in romantic songs-one’s that you once brushed away calling them silly, mushy, seem to make sense.

The truth is that I love him and this is something that nobody can take away from me। I love him with all my heart and soul and will love him forever. This love will remain with me- perhaps for as long as I continue to breathe or until cupid strikes again- if at all there is an “again”.

I know, “forever” is long time। But I also know that Love Conquers All. Even Time.