Spring of 2008

Time: Feb…Around 1 week to go for V- day.

There’s something magical in the air- almost stifling in its intensity yet refreshingly light. Misery bordering on maniacal depression and yet intertwined with indelible joy. A sense of euphoria, yet tinged with pain.

As I sit in front of my much abused machine, life that has changed and the lives that I have discovered in the last couple of months, each with one common thread, come to mind…

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of- Blaise Pascal

It didn’t take long for what started off as an innocent school romance to grow into an abusive, monstrous relationship for Anu. Everytime she ended up with a bruised eye or a bleeding upper lip, she would resolve never to get back with him again. But all would be forgotten everytime he came back with those tear-filled eyes, pleading forgiveness.

Three years and nothing much had changed in their relationship. Fortunately, she realised that she must end it and has stuck to that resolution for some time now.

Last week, one of her friends, someone who, by Anu’s admission has the reputation of being a playboy and who she more than likes, proposed to her in true filmy style- in front of his parents, on one knee.

Anu is on Cloud 9 now. Having known Anu as a person who gets carried away by the ups in life, and also knowing that Love is blind, her friend Priya hopes that this time round, she is in a truly happy and long-lasting relationship.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love– Albert Einstein

Priya was once asked a question by a person she regarded as her friend, philosopher and guide, “ Don’t you have any boyfriends?”. To which she replied, “ No, not boyfriends, but I have many good friends who happen to be boys.” Touché. That was a long time ago.
Priya is still the kind of person you want to pour your heart out to, just after a couple of meetings.

More than once, Anu has asked her if she is it was just friendship that she shared with her friend Rahul. Priya, always knew that the answer was a “No” but also wondered if she would ever meet anyone who would regard her more than just as a friend.

After going through a harrowing time of her life, during which both Siddharth and Rahul proved to be the best of friends that one could ever have, and literally being given a new lease of life, Priya met him. Just when she felt she couldn’t be happier in life, she was embarking on the best and the most magical time of her life.

It hardly took a week or so for them to become close friends. He began to trust her to such an extent that he began to seek her advice on many personal matters. Together, they were the recipe for total fun and madness. People who Priya when she was with him, felt she transformed into a totally new person- crazy, demented and so very different from the old, grandmotherly Priya that they had come to know.

Priya didn’t realize what it was during those couple of months when she came to know him.
It was only when she moved away, that she began to realize what it was that she felt for him. Some of you may raise an eyebrow at the thought of somebody falling for someone in just 2 months and may even label it as a mere crush. But sometimes you know what it is when you meet the right person. You really don’t need more time and nor do you need to know anything more about the person. You just know and the more you ignore it or try to talk yourself out of it, the more you are just deluding yourself.

Now that Priya accepted that it was no more friendship, at least on her end, she felt she had to tell him the truth in the hope that if nothing at all, it might atleast put an end to the thoughts in her mind which seemed to get directed to him all the time. She was surprised with herself and almost shocked but she had to admit that she was getting crazy about him.

Every minute that she spent with him, there was something that kept accusing her of being dishonest with him. She couldn’t bear the thought of him telling her about his latest blind date and asking her advice on how he must proceed, knowing that he was daft when it came to women. Priya decided that the only way to end this was to come clean with him. After pouring out her predicament to the (thankfully much saner) Ghaza, who gave her the required dose of courage, she told him one evening.

His reaction was close to what Priya had expected. The first reaction was one of shock and helplessness. Priya told him immediately that she understands if the feeling is not mutual and if they could still be friends. The poor chap, totally overcome with this sudden turn of events, blurted that yes, of course, they could still be friends.

Over the next couple of days, his reaction turned to anger, than to a “it-happens-in-life” attitude and then finally into indifference. He began to avoid her and had somehow convinced himself that the best way to deal with this would be to consider her as nothing more than a stranger.

Priya was heartbroken for a while. She had her fair share of sudden bursts of tears at times and places that would have embarrassed her under any other circumstances. Other times, she went through a daily routine like a zombie. At times, she had a mad urge to throttle him and couldn’t even bear to hear his voice. One morning, she just woke up and decided that this cannot go an forever and that it is high time she moved on.

Today, both of them still become a little conscious when they are around each other. Their interactions, which often used to last for hours, are now limited to a perfunctory “Hi” and “How are you”.

Priya knows that one day she will look back and laugh at what has happened but right now, all that she wants is to be friends with him again. Priya is a smart girl. Friendship or not, she knows it is best to move on.

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.—Aeschylus

It would be an understatement to say that Rahul is a hybrid version of Jim Carrey . Among other things, he is a flirt of the first order and has more than one funny bone. Naturally, he has always been a “Hit” with the girls. People ( note, it is not just women) love spending time with him and would agree that the best way to do so is to listen to him narrate his infamous (mis)adventures with girls, the pranks he has played on them and the punishments he has had to suffer, in return.

As the No. 1 prankster of the group, he has often made Riya the butt of his jokes. Soon after Rahul met Riya, he realised that Riya wasn’t just one of the several other girls that he had played pranks upon. After going through the rigmarole of “She’s just a sweet (not to mention, stunning!) girl”, and “ We’re just friends”, and “It’s just a crush maybe- just a passing phase”, he acknowledged that he couldn’t keep deceiving himself forever.

Strangely (so he thought), once he admitted to himself to that he had feelings for her, he found it harder to speak candidly to her as he once did. He tried ignoring her. At times, he pretended she was a stranger to him, in the hope that his “extra” feelings for her would evaporate, leaving behind the friendship which started it all.

Some of their mutual friends began to notice this change in Rahul whenever Riya was around. He would behave coldly towards her, not even acknowledging her presence and at other times, realizing it was stupid of him to treat her that way, would go back to being friendly with her, only to keep oscillating between these two sets of behaviour. Needless to say, this oddity still confuses the poor girl.

It has been close to 2 years since then and Rahul has still not told Riya how he feels about her. Yes, he is a chicken-hearted, as you can expect all love-struck guys to be when it comes to expressing their love.

At the age of 16, Rahul secretly opened the bag of a girl who happened to be his classmate and got a burning, red cheek as the reward for this very enterprising task. He once slapped his dance partner on a Dandiya night (she went on to become his sister-in-law, but let’s keep that story for another time) with broken spectacles and another swollen red cheek ( which fast became his trademark feature) to show for it.

You would think that for someone like him, 2 years is more than enough time to come clean with his girl. The only thing preventing him is that he feels Riya would never say “yes” to him even if she did have any feelings for him. Rahul is aware that in the past, when Riya liked another fellow, she still had to break off with him coz her parents wouldn’t agree to their relationship. Rahul has realized that Riya would never say “yes” to him as her parents would never accept anyone outside their community.

Rahul has sobered a lot in these 2 years. People attribute it to the “effect of tides of time”, but they will probably never get to know how an incredibly mature, sensitive and sensible person has grown inside the carefree, ever-joking, “life-is-a-play” attitude Rahul.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Ghaza is someone you would call a “classic, traditional, no-nonsense belle”. A very down-to-earth person who has been a pillar of support for her family – a working mother, a brother who is yet to come out of his teens and a father who has had to retire from his once active life due to his ailing health.

Ghaza met Praveer around 5 years ago. Praveer was the one who approached her and tried to get her to accept him. He waited long for Ghaza, who, knowing the implications of a cross-community, cross-cultural relationship very well, felt it was best to give it time and not to rush into things. But his patience and perseverance finally won over Ghaza.

For the past 3 years, Ghaza has been trying to get her parents’, especially her iron-willed Mother’s approval for the relationship. Her mother has almost disowned her and Ghaza cannot even remember when was the last time her she had a heart-to-heart talk with her Mom. Her ailing father still nurtures hopes of his first-born returning to them and of being wedded to a nice obedient chap hailing from their community. But too much time has passed and too many things have been said and done.

Ghaza and Praveer have decided that, as waiting is not taking them anywhere, it is best for them to tie the knot.

Ghaza still has many unanswered questions about how life would be after the marriage.
The religious and cultural gap between the world that she was raised in and the world that she will be living in after wedding is too wide and it unsettles her. Knowing that she would never have her family’s support once she takes the final step, she is scared to ask herself if what she will do if she is unable to adjust herself to her new world. These and many other questions have risen of late but Ghaza knows that tying the knot is the only step ahead. Turning back was never and is still not an option.

Ghaza has told Priya that she hopes to get married to Praveer in the next couple of months. Priya can only hope that the love that has thrown Ghaza into this whirlpool shows her the way to navigate out of it successfully.

*************

……Change is in the air. The harshness has melted into a soothing warmth. The leaves have fallen and new ones are waiting to take their place. Times are no longer as we had known them to be. Lives are changing and so are the people.

……..Buds and flowers are beginning to adorn the skeletal trees. Long before you know it, these withered, bare branches will be crowded with flowers.

The lives of these 4 individuals will never be the same again. Many more springs will come and so will the winters. It is only the most blessed of us who find their true love and who have the courage and gumption to proceed with it. To the less fortunate, as somebody once said, “ First, all relationships are with yourself – and sometimes they involve other people. Second, the most important relationship in your life – the one you have, like it or not, until the day you die- is with yourself”.